Grunts Have a Sick Sense of Humor, Gomer’s Party

by Dave Shade

This is a story about a party we gave for one of the guys that returned to our platoon (3rd Plt. 1/327 Co. D 101st) at FB Tomahawk from his R&R in Japan.

Some time in May 1969 on Firebase Tomahawk one of the guys from our platoon returned from his R&R in Japan and he was bearing gifts, a fifth of CC, a fifth of VO, and a fifth of Vodka. That alone was reason enough to have a party.

This party was extra special because the guy was a virgin when he went on R&R and his nick name was “Gomer” and the nick name really fit right down to his mannerisms and appearance. We were all dying to know if he was still a virgin.

All together there were seven of us in my bunker, which was the only one big enough, other than the CP, in which to have the welcome home party, since alcohol was involved the CP was out of the question.

If my memory is right the party guests were, myself, Willard Adams, Richard Bell, Carl Queener, Warren Jesse, the guest of honor “Gomer” and a guy named Ada.

Ada is a very special guy, he is a little different from the rest of the “Red Blooded American Boys”. Ada is a native of Guam, and he speaks with a very heavy accent, looks a lot like a VC and had a real short temper, (even when he’s sober), has a fetish for big sharp knifes, had those coal black eyes, and was very quite…..almost too quite. In general was a real spooky guy, but a good trooper.

So here we all are, in a candle lit bunker that is about 10 ft. wide by 7 ft. deep, with no windows and only a door opening that was 4 ft. high by 2 ft. wide, covered by a piece of canvas, having a party for good old Gomer.

I was kind of an oddball myself because I didn’t like to drink, so I’m the only sober guy in the joint. As the bottles got closer to empty the teasing began. As it turned out good old Gomer returned to us the same way he left…………a virgin….each of us took turns ribbing him about spending his whole R&R reading books and going to movies. Everyone but me was pretty well lit and we were having a ball. About this time the very quite Ada started to join in on the fun, but with his thick accent and a thick tongue to go along with it, we couldn’t understand what he was trying to say. One of the guys said something like “there’s a gook in here” another said “speak English Charlie” we were always teasing him about looking like a gook.

Now Ada had those real spooky eyes anyway, but the look he gave us gave me the willies. He stood up and said something that sounded like “I get even with you guys”, but as I said, we couldn’t understand him most of the time, even when he was sober. Ada threw back the canvas on the door and stormed out. We just kind of blew it off to him being drunk.

After about 10 minutes Ada sticks his head through the doorway and says, in perfect English ………… “I told you I’d get even” and throws in a frag!! The spoon flipped off……….. Five men tried to get out that 2X4 ft. door at the same time, (needless to say none of them made it)……….I was the farthest from the door, was sober, and saw that I couldn’t make it, so I dove behind some cases of C ration boxes and covered my ears.

We all thought that we had bought the farm. An eternity passed…..Then there was Ada’s face grinning like a chaser cat and laughing his ass off.

He (Ada) had unscrewed the fuse on the frag, broke off the fuse and popped the primer and re-cocked the spoon. That was the quickest I have ever seen a bunch of drunks sober up.

Sadly; “Gomer” (Darrel Alderton) passed away a few years back, but the good news is, Ada is alive and is still living in Guam. His full name is Charlie Ada.

Above The Rest
Dave A. Shade 1/327 Co. D 3rd Plt. 101st 4/69-8/69